I’ve been a blogger for over 10 years. Obviously, not always on the same blog. Personal blogs, come and go as the chapters in our lives start and end. I’ve had work blogs that only had to do with writing about my job. I’ve had personal diaries. I’ve had relationship blogs. All have come and gone with the fluctuations in my life.
When I started this particular blog, it was at a time when I needed to focus on more positive things. I was closing a chapter in my life and needed to focus on things that brought me happiness. This blog was intended to highlight the somewhat charmed life I lead. It was intended to journal my travels and share my thoughts on animals, since that is my career and passion.
I look at my blog today and it’s not exactly doing that. There has been some surprising additions, in that I’ve been documenting my cooking adventures since I’ve changed from being unable to cook, to tackling new and exciting recipes. There was a month where I took on an A to Z Challenge and did write quite about animals and animal behavior management.
Behind the scenes, I’ve had lots of traveling and have visited some fantastic places. Behind the scenes, I have also been miserable. The last few weeks have been completely dreadful, soul sucking and dark. Sure, I have somewhat of a charmed life. I live in the middle of Europe, I’m a housewife with no children, I get to travel from time to time, and I get to enjoy nature daily with my dog. Not everything is cupcakes and rainbows though.
In June, I’ll get to go home and visit Southern California. I’m super excited that I’ll get to spend my birthday there. However, before I get to enjoy the sunshine on my face, the fresh ocean breeze, the tall palm trees, and the company of friends and family, I get to spend 3 days with my sister in law and her new baby in Minnesota.
I get along just fine with my sister in law. She’s a funny and kind person with a TON of personality. But she and I are different people. She’s loud, an extrovert, chaotic, and has a need to make everyone her friend. I’m an introvert, quiet, organized, and I don’t care to make everyone my friend. On top of all that, she’s recently had a baby who will be 4 months old when I see him.
The problem? I don’t like babies. I’m just not a baby person and I realize that makes me different than most women in this world. I have no interest to have a child of my own. I seriously think the mommy gene skipped my species and went to all of the other members of the animal kingdom. I go crazy for all the other baby animals and I love having animals in my life, but my own child, no thanks. I don’t think babies are cute and adorable, or rather, I’m indifferent to them. I view them more as crying and demanding beings. The picture I’ve posted at the top of this post doesn’t make me go “aw a baby!” Put a picture of a piglet there instead, and I’ll squee.
There’s one place I will always call home. Though I grew up in Orange County, I moved to Los Angeles in my early 20s. The City of Angels is my home. It’s hard to explain. There’s just something about LA. Some things you can only understand by living there, others you can catch a glimpse of by visiting. This video by 30 Seconds to Mars is an absolute masterpiece. I urge you to put aside the 10 minutes of your day just to give it a watch and listen.
I can’t watch this video and not have tears appear in my eyes. The part that gets me every time is when the music quiets down and Jared Leto belts out “I am home”. I have visions of stepping out of LAX and playing this song as I walk out into LA. You can’t really explain to someone why a place is held so close to your heart, but it’s all the little things. It’s all the characteristics, the special moments, the things that are only unique to that place. Watching this video will at least give you a closer look into what is “home” for me. Even though I may not have dreams of stardom, I still have dreams. Just like anyone else.
June. June I’ll be able to belt out loud, “I AM HOME.”
© Semi-Charmed Life